part II

I had the weirdest nightmare the other night. It was so vivid that it almost could be true, I woke up in sweat all over, neck stiff and sore.

It was not a modern world, a more cruel, barbarian 19th century would be it. I was kept in a jail, a dungeon, to be more specific. Couldn't remember what crime I have committed. Who would know? It was 19th century. I could just have been punished for having loved the wrong person. The dungeon was so cold and claustrophobic, looking around there was no one but myself. The next scene flashed to a guillotine and I was under it, shoulders pressed by two men on each side of me. I thought that would be it. I said to myself that eventually it would end my sorrow. I was even ready to take it. I closed my eyes, lowered my head, laid it on the board, thinking it was such a board that it could be the one in my kitchen that I used to use for cutting vegetables and chicken. Last minute humour? How many seconds more till my brain would eventually stop to work? Headsmen, hurry up!


Then there was a man shouting, halted the rising killing machine, followed by a series of mummering. What has decision been changed to? Judges, please just made up your stupid mind and kill me already. Then the most unbelievable crucifixion in the whole universe happenend. They have decided to keep me alive. They wanted to shallowly cut around my neck so that my warm blood would overflew to my shoulders. It all depends how deep the cut is. If some side were deeper, blood would have flown to my arms and hands. Then I could feel the knife cutting on my neck, 4 cuts, 2 on the sides, 1 in the front, 1 at the back. They did it slowly to torture me. I was sobbing quietly. I didn't know what on earch I did that I deserved this. The feeling of bloody fluid coming out of my wound was so real. I was scared. And that was where I woke up from. I reached my neck, deeply exhaled. It was a sunny day outside. But I was so wounded.